5 things I'm thinking today. . .

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby firegal » Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:22 am

1. I can't do this
2. I have no idea what I am doing
3. I've always had issues when I'm in clinical posts, why did I think clinical training would be any different?
4. Nope, it's not just clinical posts, I spent plenty of my time as an RA miserable and anxious too, but I just attributed it to different things.
5. Why can't I make this work?

[/first year slump]
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby Bobgirl » Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:06 pm

firegal wrote:1. I can't do this
2. I have no idea what I am doing
3. I've always had issues when I'm in clinical posts, why did I think clinical training would be any different?
4. Nope, it's not just clinical posts, I spent plenty of my time as an RA miserable and anxious too, but I just attributed it to different things.
5. Why can't I make this work?

[/first year slump]


Hi Firegal. I wanted to reply to you because I think what you are feeling is part of being a first year. I am in second year, and I know that probably all of my class went through this during first year, the whole "imposter syndrome", feeling like maybe you are not good enough, and don't actually have a clue what you are doing. I think we all still feel like that at times, that we have no idea what we are doing, it is part of training!! but it became particularly prominent half way through first year. Our course gave us space to be able to bring it out into the open, and talk about it. It normalised it and made us realise that everyone was feeling the same. I hope you also have the space to do this, but I just wanted to reply so that you wouldn't think you were on your own with it xx :D
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby firegal » Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:52 pm

Bobgirl wrote:Hi Firegal. I wanted to reply to you because I think what you are feeling is part of being a first year. I am in second year, and I know that probably all of my class went through this during first year, the whole "imposter syndrome", feeling like maybe you are not good enough, and don't actually have a clue what you are doing. I think we all still feel like that at times, that we have no idea what we are doing, it is part of training!! but it became particularly prominent half way through first year. Our course gave us space to be able to bring it out into the open, and talk about it. It normalised it and made us realise that everyone was feeling the same. I hope you also have the space to do this, but I just wanted to reply so that you wouldn't think you were on your own with it xx :D


Thanks Bobgirl. We do have space and the course so far has been very supportive. I love my appraisal tutor and he's been great in trying to make sure things are going well on placement, I just really need to work on being honest about it when I'm struggling, finding it very difficult to let down the "it's ok, I'm totally coping with this!" face.
We have regular reflective practice groups and lucky for me that's happening on Friday so I think I need to make sure I make good use of it.
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby CellarDoor » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:14 pm

Yes, definitely part of normal first year trajectory - doesn't stop it feeling horrendous at times though. I came very close to interrupting/quitting in the first year - second year is full on, but confidence wise I am a million times better. It does get better - much better! :) I think what has helped me is the normal trajectory of finding my own path a bit/working out what kind of CP I am, etc./what I am not interested in so much and not being afraid to own that.
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby CurlyHair » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:59 pm

I also reiterate - totally normal part of 1st year :D I think we all have a case of the wobbles at some point. I'm halfway through 2nd year and still have the same thing now and then!

1. In explaining a neuro test today, I proudly used some of my undergrad cognitive psychology knowledge and felt overwhelmingly pleased with self. I'd forgotten I knew it :D - memory is a fascinating, fab and groovy thing.
2. Am also proud of self for handling a break-up like a grown up. Am putting into place all my self-care strategies and they are working. I'm still sad, but manageably so.
3. This doctorate better turn out to be worth it.
4. Exercise is the way forward, after doing a 5k at the weekend (with obstacles, I have bruises - so many bruises) and havng a few yoga workshops coming up, am going to revel in the sore muscles and distraction.
5. My nephew is the most hilarious person I know, I cut up some bits of bread for him at the weekend and arranged them to look like dinosaur spikes and when he saw it he loudly exclaimed 'What in the world is this?'. He is 3. Loving his work.
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby Esuma » Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:41 pm

1. Freeeeeedom!! So happy to be exam free again!!
2. Really don't want to spend time preparing for the psychology group I'm facilitating tomorrow - surely I deserve the evening off to consume ALL the wine and gin?!
3. Frustrating that when in exam situations my mind always goes blank despite getting a topic I enjoyed and thought I knew really well
4. So excited to enjoy my April without guilt! Maybe I'll do a bit of work if I fancy it but only IF!
5. Don't know what to do with myself!
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby lingua_franca » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:17 pm

1.) Interview for a part-time voluntary role working with torture survivors! :D I'm so happy. I really hope I get it, so I can have some balance between my postdoc and more hands-on clinical work.
2.) I've been up a blind alley with my postdoc - people whom I really hoped would agree to participate in the study have said no - but I feel strangely confident and like this is all for the best, even though it means losing the field site I know best and potentially heading out to Nigeria instead, where I've never actually been...
3.) Some kids in my neighbourhood have been harassing me in recent days, making fun of how I walk and calling out, "Hi spastic," when they see me. I was wondering whether to visit their parents, but instead I had a serious talk with them myself. They've not said a word to me since, but they haven't exactly expressed remorse either - they just stood there in silence while I told them off and seemed embarrassed. I'm wondering if I should insist on the apology or just leave it.
4.) I am really craving pasta arrabiatta but I don't have the ingredients.
5.) A friend who was extremely ill is out of hospital and doing much better. I'm so relieved and thankful.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby Shmit » Fri Apr 21, 2017 3:26 pm

1) I'm nearing the end of a stressful/anxious/exhausting few months, and cannot wait! It's amazing to recognise the impact of this on your mind and energy levels... I feel like I could sleep for the whole of England at the moment
2) All I keep thinking about is planning my next weekend and what lovely things my little family can do, I want to do everything, but need to make sure I have time to chillax in there too
3) I have an exciting summer coming up :) which I am really looking forward to
4) There's something quite reassuring about having a back up plan that I'm content and happy with, if this last final DClinPsy attempt doesn't work out.
5) Driving around a bit more means that I'm more up to date with recent music, I used to LOVE music and know songs before they even came out, how did I become so old and busy??
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Postby nomnom » Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:41 pm

1. Technology failure 2 days before deadline. I might fail the entire year and 10 years of hard work might go to waste...

2. I feel really unsettled with work, university and a certain someone. I know what I need to do, I just need find the motivation and time to sort things out otherwise I am going to continue going in circles.

3. Again, I have some amazing people around me. With this kind of support, I know I will be ok though I need to just allow the storm to shatter whatever it wills for now.

4. Nothing lasts forever. This phrase now has a new meaning for me that I had not previously reflected on.

5. Appreciating the little things in life to get through each day one at a time...*sighs*
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'
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