Help choosing right apartment!

[pinkcat]

V off-topic here!
I'm moving in with my partner soon, the first time either of us have lived with a SO. We've found two potential places..

One is lovely and light and airy, but no real open space, however lots of nooks and crannies where can store things, plus a balcony! It's all open plan though with stairs up to a bedroom thats not walled off, so noise will travel easily... :s

Second one is big with 2 separate bedrooms to the lounge/kitchen area. It's got brick walls which I don't like, but its size and the fact that the rooms are closed off ie space to do own thing and not impacting on other person if (which we dont) have the same sleeping/getting up schedule (he sometimes gets up a few hours earlier when he has to work in a different city, and currently he goes to bed and gets up earlier than I do anyway).

My bf really likes the first one although will go with the second if I'd like it 100% - most of all he wants it sorted before we lose both due to my indecision! I love the homeliness of the first one but if we're not tidy it'll become cluttered, and the main thing is I do like my own space sometimes - while the bedroom being on a higher level gives some space I'm concerned about noise travelling. He maintains he can work if I play music if he plays some too in separate part of flat, and that kitchen noise when other sleeping wont be a problem, I'm less sure! That said it has a really lovely atmosphere whereas the other one is so big and rather dark with the brick walls so doesnt appeal so much - but seems the safe and sensible option.

Any tips from anyone who's 'been there done that'? He's set a limit of 1pm to decide or he's going for the small one, really i'm not totally convinced about either but don't want to end up with nowhere. Shame to lose the homeliness for the impersonal one but then don't want us to end up getting on each other's nerves for things we can't even control, eg kitchen noise! Don't know if I'm being negative or just realistic! Any advice?

[Bdawson]

Sounds like neither of them fit the bill for what you really need, in which case, annoying as it may be, I'd personally go looking for a third option But that may be entirely unehlpful to you I just wouldn't fancy deciding either way and then spending a good long time feeling annoyed with bits of the place and wishing you'd got the other.

I had to go down that route when I first moved out and it delayed my move by around 3 months :/ Worth it in the end though as I found the perfect place.

[Loula]

Not much help in your decision, but having rented for a bit (in somewhere which sounds more like your second option!) and then having bought a house (and looked around approximately a million) I would agree with Bdawson- you will know when you see the right one. There will be always be compromises, but there is hopefully something out there that isn't such a big compromise as either of these two.

I also worked different hours to my partner for the majority of the time we were in our rented flat and I would say stick with your gut instinct that you need to be able to shut the doors. We often ended up getting dressed etc. in the spare room while the other slept and it was nice to know we weren't disturbing the other. I'm also a great believer in having your own space sometimes.

[pinkcat]

You're right...i've arranged 2 new viewings for tomorrow, and hope to get a re-viewing of the smaller one so can get a better idea!

Also not being sure has meant we've been able to negotiate cheaper price and curtains being put up in large one if we do take that property

Lets just hope no-one else comes along and snaps any of them up before we (I!) finally decide. I hate being so indecisive, that said my boyfriend rushed headlong into his current flat and hated it for 6 months so it seems sensible not to repeat that hehe!

Thanks guys

[eponymous85]

From your description of the two places, you seemed far more excited about the first one. Of course it's good to be rational about big decisions like this, but the 'heart' factor can make a big difference to how much you enjoy living somewhere. I've lived in places that on the surface description were absolutely not suited for our needs, but I loved them, and places that seemed the right choice on a practical level but just felt very 'flat' and un-homely (is that a word? it is now).

Don't know if that helps or if i have complicated things!

Edit: also, moving house always feels like a really permanent decision, but remember you can always move again if it's not right!

[pinkcat]

Nope, you've got the dilemma in one! I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that one of the places viewed tomorrow will be a mix of ‘heart and head’ ie lovely light airy feel, but with bedroom separate to everything else at least! I hope we end up with somewhere that really feels like home, but then there's no point having somewhere really cute if we get on each others nerves due to lack of sleep! Decisions decisions...never my strong point!

[baa]

I like places with doors, I need to shut The Bf away sometimes. Particularly important if you've never lived with a partner before. That an I need an entire room for my clothes and shoes, so we had to have a 3 bedroom house

[Campion]

[baa]

I need another room, it's getting squashed in there I really need a walk in wardrobe.

[pinkcat]

Hmm, went to smaller one last night in the hope of ruling it out and loved it while there! So airy and light and be lovely in the summer on the balcony. Then walking back all the doubts of but will it really be practical came back... In the end left it to my bf because I’m so indecisive I was going back and forth between the two. He went for the smaller but lighter one...As long as we’re considerate of each others’ needs hopefully it will be ok! Thanks for your input..hope I don’t regret not listening to my ‘sensible’ side!

[pinkcat]

Ps do you ever feel like a fraud? I run a problem solving group and yet I couldn't make a decision on this! lol