5 things I'm thinking today. . .

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lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:48 pm

1.) One week until my PhD goes in. I will be ready. (And when I typed that I had a mental image of myself painted in woad and brandishing a spear.)
2.) I had my induction to the speech and language therapy course today. I'm a little more nervous now (the audiology and biomed look as though they're going to be a real challenge for me) but I think I've made a good choice.
3.) A friend with depression wanted to chat to me the other night, for support, and I had to tell him I couldn't - I'm elbow-deep in my thesis and I just didn't have the time or the emotional resources. I think he's upset and offended. I also don't think he appreciates how busy I am at present, but I still feel bad about it.
4.) I also have the sense that I've upset/offended another friend without knowing why. She's got a lot of stuff going on in her life so it's probably nothing to do with me. I am overtired and this makes me unduly anxious anyway.
5.) When this thesis is in I'm booking myself in for a massage. I think I'll deserve one.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Fri Sep 30, 2016 10:51 am

1. Two days ago I submitted a PhD! :D :D :D I forgot to request double-sided printing, so roughly three hectares of Finland have disappeared because of this thesis. And yes, that was my first reaction on collecting the tombstone-sized slab from the printer's.
2. ...and it took the non-arrival of my studentship this morning for it to finally hit me that it's over. :shock: Before that it didn't register, and I kept catching myself thinking of improvements to make.
3. I'm a week into my SLT course and I'm loving every minute so far. I hadn't expected to like the intro to audiology class (like podiatry, it always seemed to me like one of those things you only go into if you're a fetishist) but ears are more interesting than I gave them credit for.
4 - 5 are vacant for anyone with extra thoughts to take.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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sarahg
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by sarahg » Fri Sep 30, 2016 11:58 am

Congratulations!!

Randomswirls
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Randomswirls » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:25 pm

Congrats lingua

1 - I have a splitting headache
2 - I missed my train earlier meaning I have to cough up another 50 pounds and I'm skint
3 - I don't think I have been shortlisted for the job I really really really want!
4 - I hope tomorrow's talk goes well
5 - I'm tired and ready for my bed but on the train for a while longer!

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Victoriomantic
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Victoriomantic » Fri Oct 07, 2016 11:15 am

1. I got a promotion :) I am now a GMHW-turned-PWP
2. Just had a triage for my local IAPT service. I hope they offer me DIT. Pretty weird to be on the other side of the phone.
3. Going to a house viewing this afternoon. Housemates are all excited and want to take it but it's unfurnished and the move date is three weeks away... things happening quickly makes my insides squiffy
4. I saw my favourite band live for the second time (first time since I've actually known their stuff) last week and I'm still buzzing
5. I'm exhausted. Haven't slept properly in five months and I really miss decent sleep. Getting concerned now about the exhaustion-related aches and pains.

Randomswirls
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Randomswirls » Fri Oct 07, 2016 8:30 pm

1 - I just ate loads of pizza yummy
2 - I'm now full
3 - my talk went really well
4 - I got shortlisted for the AP post I really really want
5 - I'd better start preparing

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schizometric
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by schizometric » Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:55 pm

1. Fantastic assistant interviews today... hard to choose between them all. Really looking forward to working with the one we chose!
2. Also had a lovely work plan meeting re: my new principal CP post, and looking forward to that, despite the very inherent challenges!
3. I found out 2 weeks ago that I have a really severe b12 deficiency. Injections are making me feel so incredibly well; better than I have for absolute years. It's shocking and marvellous.
4. Except the underlying cause which is being looked into; I'm kinda hoping it's celiac as at least that is manageable.
5. Where to go on a holiday I need but can't afford at the end of this year?! :)
6 (sorry) teaching on complex dementia presentations next week, can't wait but need to work on it this weekend! a carer is coming to talk about FTD, which will be immense.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:28 am

1.) I lay down for a short afternoon nap at two o'clock on Thursday without bothering to set an alarm. To my horror I woke up to a grey dim sky, the clock saying quarter to nine, and the grumpy thought, "Now you won't sleep all night." But the sky got brighter instead of darker, and Google tells me that I DID sleep all night. It's Friday. :shock:
2.) "We are pleased to inform you that your article has been returned from the reader and is marked for inclusion in the forthcoming issue..." I submitted this article to a major journal in December 2014 and had given up all hope of hearing anything. Reaction one: their peer reviewers are thorough in the extreme, or they read at a rate of 10.4 words per day. Reaction two: yessssss. :D
3.) I'm having some doubts about my course now. My adviser has been the opposite of encouraging over my disability (understatement - she's as good as told me that she expects me to fail) and the pace is slower than what I was expecting. I'm not sure I can tolerate four years with an adviser who is expecting me to fail. But NHS funding has gone, so it's too late to reapply for accelerated postgrad programmes. I don't really know what to do. :(
4.) One of my closest friends from overseas is coming to visit in a week. It's been eighteen months since I saw her and I am really looking forward to it, even though it will only be a flying three-day visit. I'm touched she is flying all this way and contributing to environmental degradation just to see me.
5.) I'm still tired even after my nineteen-hour nap!
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

nomnom
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by nomnom » Sat Oct 15, 2016 8:32 pm

1. Doing this CBP course is such a roller-coaster! One minute I am panicking because I have no idea what I am doing and the next, I think I'm ok before going back to having a meltdown all over again!

2. Consequently, I am not sleeping well which isn't helping matters. I am also cold. Damn weather.

3. Finally, the confrontational for no reason person in the flat is moving out! There is a GOD! Though I am worried that the move out happening whilst I am away isn't a good idea as she will owe me for bills and I don't feel my things will be safe so I am going to speak to agency about holding the deposit until the flat is inspected which will be when I am back.

4. I am looking forward 2 weeks away! Though given how much work I have to do, I am considering taking some with me. I can barely believe I am actually thinking this...

5. I'm also going through a range of emotions. I think everything that has happened this year, has impacted me so much. Though things hurt at the time and many things have changed, the dust is only now settling and I have moments during the day, when I really struggle. I hope it passes soon.
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'

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ell
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by ell » Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:03 pm

1) Not sure what am going to say to therapist today. Not sure how I feel.
2) Wish I wasn't so lazy. I can spend hours not moving.
3) Coming back to real life after amazing events is so difficult. I'm left feeling sad and lonely and yearning to return to those moments. Sometimes makes me wonder if those times are worth it.
4) Why can't I motivate myself to do anything? I understand the principles of behavioral activation, but still can't manage it!
5) Thoughts 2-4 make thought 1 a bit ironic now.

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firegal
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by firegal » Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:45 pm

lingua_franca wrote: 3.) I'm having some doubts about my course now. My adviser has been the opposite of encouraging over my disability (understatement - she's as good as told me that she expects me to fail) and the pace is slower than what I was expecting. I'm not sure I can tolerate four years with an adviser who is expecting me to fail. But NHS funding has gone, so it's too late to reapply for accelerated postgrad programmes. I don't really know what to do. :(

So sorry to hear this about a course you were excited for, hope it works out. Is there any potential for changing advisors?

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:05 pm

firegal wrote:
lingua_franca wrote: 3.) I'm having some doubts about my course now. My adviser has been the opposite of encouraging over my disability (understatement - she's as good as told me that she expects me to fail) and the pace is slower than what I was expecting. I'm not sure I can tolerate four years with an adviser who is expecting me to fail. But NHS funding has gone, so it's too late to reapply for accelerated postgrad programmes. I don't really know what to do. :(

So sorry to hear this about a course you were excited for, hope it works out. Is there any potential for changing advisors?
I've discovered that NHS funding for postgrad courses still exists for 2017 entry, so I've applied for some accelerated programs. It's not just my adviser - after completing a PhD the pace of this is all wrong for me and I'd rather qualify more quickly. If I don't get a postgrad place (competitive), I'll look into changing advisers. I don't want to antagonise her, as she's a senior member of the course team. Apparently I'm far from the first disabled student to have had issues with her. One of the second-years told me, "If she had her way, she'd screen out half the cohort." I'm not in a mood to put up a fight against this sort of thing - I want to go somewhere that my competence is respected and I'm going to feel comfortable. Life is too short to make it unnecessarily difficult for yourself.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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Pink
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Pink » Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:32 pm

lingua_franca wrote:Life is too short to make it unnecessarily difficult for yourself.
Or have creepy, abusive, powerhungry ***wipes making it difficult for you. Hope a seagull poops on her head tomorrow. Sorry you're going through this Lingua, you've worked so hard and are such an awesome person, and no one deserves that kind of undermining bullying and abuse. Hope your other options work out, but take care in the meantime pink xx
Kintsukuroi: 'to repair with gold'. the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

@Sushipink22

Randomswirls
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Randomswirls » Thu Oct 20, 2016 4:30 pm

Lingua I agree with Firegal and Pink and hope you manage to get things sorted.

Ell hope everything is okay

1 - it's been a crazy old week but a massively positive one!
2 - in the last week I've found out I've had a couple of interviews for AP posts and had a poster accepted for the Dclin conference in January!
3 - I attended and subsequently got one of the jobs which I love the sound of but have the dilemma of the other interview which is for a band 5 post. I will go for the other interview but feel a tad uneasy around it all!
4 - struggling with my dclin form I feel a bit more pressure this year whilst also feeling tired of the whole process
5 - I have lots of uni friends coming to stay this weekend which I am looking forward to!

astra
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by astra » Mon Oct 24, 2016 9:28 am

1. I was going to take half term off, but have accidentally accepted heaps of work will have me burning the midnight oil all week just to take a couple of days off with my family :evil:
2. Only a few weeks ago I was stressing that one referral source had dried up and others were underpaying, then out of the blue came a heap of self funding or employer funded assessments that will more than pay for Christmas. So couldn't really say no.
3. The other half, who is a pessimist, stuck in his ways teacher, approaching 50yo, has jacked in teaching and is opening a cafe and kids bookshop :shock: He finished at school in July, got paid up to the end of August and has been searching for the right shop since then. He's now got the right shop and is in the process of securing a lease on it - OMG!
4. So we've voluntarily gone from being 2 public sector employees with pensions and sick pay and everything, to being 2 self employed people with virtually no security at all - what happened to us!!!
5. Thank goodness for the WATS tax refund I got though, it's tiding us over nicely whilst things are up in the air for the other half.
From the point of view of mindfulness, as long as you're breathing there's more right with you than wrong with you. Jon Kabat-Zinn

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