5 things I'm thinking today. . .

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SheRa
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by SheRa » Sat Dec 16, 2017 8:09 pm

1. My best friend has become increasingly obsessed with running and now only seems to like my Facebook posts or talk to me if it's about running.
2. She'd definitely talk to me more if I had kids.
3. I don't want children.
4. Perhaps we're just growing apart.
5. It's hard to accept after 20 years of friendship.
By the Power of Grey Skull!

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lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Sat Dec 16, 2017 9:41 pm

SheRa wrote:1. My best friend has become increasingly obsessed with running and now only seems to like my Facebook posts or talk to me if it's about running.
2. She'd definitely talk to me more if I had kids.
3. I don't want children.
4. Perhaps we're just growing apart.
5. It's hard to accept after 20 years of friendship.
Could you speak to your friend about this? Tell her that you'd like to talk about something that isn't running, and to see more of her? I could be misreading the situation, but if I had a friend who seemed obsessed with exercise to the exclusion of all else I might also put out some quiet feelers to see if they were feeling and eating OK.

If it's any comfort, I've known my best friend since we were eight years old (we're thirty now) and we drifted apart for six of those twenty-two years. At first it hurt. Then I came to terms with it...and then we drifted back together and now we're as close as we ever were as kids. I think that when you've known someone for that long you very rarely grow apart properly, even though there will be times when you talk less and times when you talk more. You share roots.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

SheRa
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by SheRa » Sat Dec 16, 2017 11:46 pm

Thanks Lingua, that's comforting to know you and your friend drifted back together. I could make more effort with mine, she's always been busy with kids or running before but can't hurt to try again. She's gained some good friends from running, and thinking about it they're all sharing a struggle with weight loss together which isn't a road I'm on. I could offer her more support around that, and she's been through some other stresses this year. Guess I got a bit focused on myself back there and lost sight of the bigger picture!
By the Power of Grey Skull!

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firegal
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by firegal » Thu Dec 21, 2017 9:48 am

1. Bored
2. This placement has been so slow in getting off the ground, and it doesn't feel like anyone's fault, just circumstance, but it is frustrating
3. I hate pre-appointment anxiety. I feel like I've got a lot of those first time nerves back even though this is placement 2, I'm usually fine once I'm in the room, but it still feels like every appointment is a big deal and I'm worried about screwing it up or having a horrid experience.
4. Last day before going home for xmas :D
5. My life is so not where I thought it would be this time 2 years ago, and that's a very good thing!

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mungle
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by mungle » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:58 am

1. Last day at work before Christmas :D
2. Tired out form long days to try and finish enough work before Christmas :wink:
3. Going to blast the Xmas music in the office today :D
4. By this time tomorrow, it will all be fun :D
5. I'd better get on with this work..... :bom:

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:54 pm

1.) One of my best friends has died. I knew that her medical condition could have killed her any day, and that people die from it on a daily basis, but somehow I always persuaded myself that it would never be her.
2.) It took me about five hours to believe that it was her, and for tears to arrive. She sometimes used to celebrate Christmas at my house as she didn't have much family. Now I'm confronting the thought of what it will be like not to wrap any presents for her, never to pick up the phone. We were planning to go travelling in France when her condition was more stable. All these ideas and hopes are still fluttering around my head like dazed birds that have flown full-pelt into a window.
3.) I am grateful that I knew her.
4.) I don't know what else to think or say.
5.) "Mourning and weeping may last for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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Geishawife
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Geishawife » Fri Dec 22, 2017 7:10 am

So sorry to hear of your loss, Lingua. My grandmother used to say that death had no power - the green shoots and blooms of memory were always stronger. Thinking of you.

1. ENTIRE family are coming to us for Christmas!!
2. That includes husband's parents from Japan, his brother etc now based in Sweden, my nephew now based in Australia and my family from London. What will they all make of Northern Ireland??
3. What a multi-faceted bunch we will be.
4. It's wonderful, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
5. Better check I've got enough plates.....

nomnom
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by nomnom » Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:42 pm

My condolences for your loss Lingua - please look after yourself during this difficult time.


1. This has been one of the longest weeks ever! 18 minutes until it finishes - wooo!

2. 2pm train to get home, back to GeordieLand :D

3. I am so in need of a break. No place like home turf to get my bearings again.

4. I need to sleep.

5. And remember to breathe .
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'

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Geishawife
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Geishawife » Mon Dec 25, 2017 7:40 am

1. MERRY
2. CHRISTMAS
3. ONE
4. AND
5. ALL

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sweetpea
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by sweetpea » Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:01 pm

Thinking of you, Lingua.

1. For the first time in my adult life, I'm no longer under MH services. It's an emotional, but incredibly proud moment. :D
2. It's come at such an interesting time of year - all the reflections on the past mixed intricately together with all the hopes for the future and new year.
3. I'm feeling incredibly lucky to be able to continue seeing my therapist privately, and am curious to see where this new journey takes me.
4. I've been really looking forward to getting my teeth sunk into something academic, but am now wishing this essay would write itself. Come on, brain! :roll:
5. Feeling happy to be able to study from under my duvet, with Time Team on in the background. Small mercies!

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:17 am

1.) Bleurgh, norovirus.
2.) It hit on the second day of a five-day research trip. This hasn't been the most productive trip. The G-force vomiting seems to be over and I'm feeling a bit better generally, so I hope I can do something useful today.
3.) I'd been applying for jobs to begin when this postdoc ends, but my friend's death has really knocked me and I don't think I can handle tons of applications on top of my existing work. So I decided to give it a rest and trust that something will turn up for me. I feel surprisingly peaceful.
4.) My friend died from extremely serious asthma. There was a charity that helped her to reduce her hospital admissions by providing her with medical equipment at home, which she was so grateful for - she was a person who really loved her own space and she found it so stressful to be in hospital. I'd like to do something to raise money for them, something meaningful, but I can't think what.
5.) Time to put some clothes on and to persuade my wobbly legs to take me for a short walk in the fresh air.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

MindfulPsych
Posts: 188
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by MindfulPsych » Tue Jan 16, 2018 9:50 am

1. My stomach butterflies are constantly fluttering.. making me feel so nervous
2. Debating whether I am good enough, which is silly because if they didn't think I was good enough then they wouldn't be taking a chance on me
3. Attempting to use CBT techniques to keep the anxiety at bay
4. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!
5. Feel like I might be sick.. :oops:

MindfulPsych
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by MindfulPsych » Wed Jan 17, 2018 12:56 pm

1. Feeling anxious
2. Why did I say those things? Why didn't I say something else?
3. I need to focus my mind
4. Argh.
5. :|

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:20 am

1.) Today I heard that I'm through to the next part of the selection process for a permanent lectureship that I applied for some months ago. Even if I don't get it, this has contributed to my peace around my decision not to apply for any more things for a while as I take time to grieve for my friend - I am capable, I am doing OK, I will find a way to support myself when this postdoc ends.
2.) I have also scaled back on my volunteering work. I take on far too much when things get difficult, which isn't fair to me or to the people I'm volunteering with. The temptation when grieving seems to be to fill up the time and space with as much activity as possible. I must guard against that.
3.) I've decided what I'm doing to raise money for NARA (the charity that helped my friend in the last years of her life). I am walking from one side of England to the other on the Hadrian's Wall route. She used to love walking and hiking before she got so ill, and we have spent many happy hours chatting about blister prevention and so on. It seems fitting to acquire a few blisters in her honour.
4.) I'm trying to decide whether my German evening class comes under the 'taking on too much' heading or the 'fun recreational activity' heading.
5.) Rosin has got ingrained in my cello strings, which is unhelpful. I've spent a lot this month, or I'd treat myself to a new A-string. Mine sounds vile.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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sweetpea
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by sweetpea » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:57 am

MindfulPsych - I have so much empathy for the process and experience you're talking about. Anxiety is such an insidious beast! I hope you've managed to find some breathing space.

1. I am beyond relieved that I'll be moving to a new placement at 6 months, rather than the planned 12 months.
2. I'm desperate for a better experience of training, to help the prospect of the next 2.5 years feel less daunting.
3. I need to practise a serious level of self-care to nurture myself through these last 2 months.
4. I want to learn to pull back from the details and appreciate the wider picture and trajectory.
5. ...or maybe I just need to learn to "be"?

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