Deferral due to child's health issues?

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sparkling
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Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:24 pm

Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by sparkling » Mon May 08, 2017 12:27 pm

Please don’t bite my head off for asking about this. I don’t want to bore you with too much detail but just want to give you enough that you don’t jump down my throat (hopefully!). I’ve just got a clinical place – 4th year applying, having had 2 children along the way (during the years of applications), I’m 36 and a career-changer.
One of my children has some health issues and it means he doesn’t really drink (so I often have to set my alarm and feed him overnight and we can’t leave the house much). He also has various appointments we have to get to fairly regularly. As a result his care isn’t easy. When I applied this year I hoped (in November) that by the following September, should I get a place, these would have got better. Sadly they haven’t. I have just started a job 3 days a week and it’s hard tbh to keep him hydrated but I’m managing. I’m trying to be realistic though – it’s a whole different ball game being with him only 2 days a week in terms of hydration and waking up all night to feed him working FT.
However – I absolutely LOVE working and am, as you can imagine, over the moon at getting the email this morning but more filled with dread at what it means.
I’ve read a lot over the years about deferrals – mainly due to maternity leave. I also totally understand that with places available being few, and competition so high, courses are extremely reluctant to defer places. I also can see the arguments for not taking potential places for next year’s cohort, and the additional looming worry of funding being taken away.

So – there is it is. Much longer than I envisaged but head still spinning. I’d like people’s views on deferral – I guess I know them perhaps morally, I’m just wondering if it’s worth even asking the university to consider it? Or other people’s experiences of similar carer issues? I want to be able to put my all into it and have my head in the right place “awakeness”-wise, and assumed it would all be better by now, when it isn’t.

Thanks everyone xx

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ell
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Re: Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by ell » Mon May 08, 2017 12:44 pm

Firstly, that sounds like a really tough thing to be dealing with. I'm going to make the assumption that you have sought any appropriate help with the difficulties your child is having, and you weren't inviting that anyway, so I'll leave that one there.

I think it's worth asking the university, as that's the only way you'll find out. They could say no, in which case you have a hard decision to make, and I don't envy you it. They could say yes, in which case that probably makes life easier (in this area at least!). But you won't know until you ask
Different courses will likely take different views on it as well, so take others' experiences as interesting information but not as a rule.

I'm going to be honest here, and say that you will likely find it very hard to do training if you are struggling with a part time role. You seem to already know that anyway! Training is a harder thing than just working full time. If you do end up doing training this September, you will need the full support and understanding of the course, so I would encourage you to be open with them from the outset. I speak from experience here.

I really feel for you with this whole thing. Training aside, it must be so stressful with little one not drinking. I hope things improve soon. Things can change so much over a few months with little ones, and I hope that happens soon for you.

Also well done on getting a place on training! It's not an easy thing, especially when you have lots to cope with!

Good luck with it all. Let us know how it goes.

sparkling
Posts: 128
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by sparkling » Mon May 08, 2017 12:50 pm

Thankyou so much for being so lovely Ell. Just what I needed. He has help from a million people but it doesn’t seem to be helping! It’s all very stressful – basically what I think about most of the day (and night!). Your advice is bang on all round. I used to be a corporate lawyer so I can imagine the pressure of the hours/extra workload especially now I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. Sigh. I just so very much want to do this but need to make sure I’m in the right place (emotionally it’s fine – more like physically/practically!).

Many thanks again.

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ell
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Re: Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by ell » Mon May 08, 2017 12:52 pm

Also, there is no argument for 'not taking future cohort places'. In my rather strong opinion anyway!

Courses may be more happy with deferring than taking on a trainee where they are likely to struggle and need significant time off. The course will just take a full cohort this year, and then you have the option to turn down the place next year, which is no skin off their nose. Though that's the logical way of looking at it, I can't guarantee that's how things will be considered.

sparkling
Posts: 128
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by sparkling » Mon May 08, 2017 1:02 pm

Thanks ell. Good to get a balanced perspective! Do you feel there is a chance funding will be taken away for next year?

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ell
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Re: Deferral due to child's health issues?

Post by ell » Mon May 08, 2017 8:41 pm

I have no idea. I'll believe it when I see it, as it's been talked about as on the cards for years and years. I do believe it's likely to happen in some way in the next few years though.

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