Moving to do DClinPsy

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newmember2017
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Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by newmember2017 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 12:30 pm

Hi all

Has anyone any advice or could share their experiences of what it is like to move a fairly large distance to do the DClinPsy (having to get flights home etc), particuarly if you are in a long-term relationship/married and it isn't ideal for your partner to move with you.

This has been such a strange time - being offered an amazing opportunity and wanting to celebrate that but it also causing a lot of stress and difficulty in other areas of my life.

Thanks!

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Bronwen1991
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Bronwen1991 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:17 pm

Hi Newmember2017

I think I can relate to how your feeling but my issue is the opposite. I don't live that far away from my placement base, but it is just far enough to be too long to commute.

I also have that strange feeling that sits between "wow this is such an amazing opportunity, I'm excited" and "oh no I think I have to move and how will this impact my life, relationship and well-being."

Right now I am struggling with it, but for me I know I can't NOT do this. For me any sacrifice will be worth it in the end. But I guess each person will have to weight that up.

In terms of my plans...well I just don't know. If the placement days don't exceed 3, I think I wont move and I'll travel and use AirBnB for those days. However this will be expensive. If the placement requires 4/5 days, I think I will have to move. I have known trainees that do a 5 day rent and travel home on the weekends, and that travel is pretty far (i.e. flights etc) and they made it work.

I also know some trainee's that moved and it was too much for the relationship to manage, but eventually they realized it was for the best.

It is such a difficult choice, and I don't know if you feel this, but on top of the choices, decisions etc I then feel guilty for even feeling some negativity about it i.e. "how can I feel bad about this, when I have been so lucky to be given this opportunity!"

I hope you receive some more experiences from trainee's or qualified's, and I will be reading also.

Best wishes,

Bronwen

Holly85
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Holly85 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 3:36 pm

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I am also in the same position. I am having to move a long way for the dclinpsy and my partner isn't able to move with me. It is such a mixed bag of emotions echoing what bronwen said. Although I don't feel like I can give you any ad ice on this as I am in the same position as you I do hope it all goes well for you and I will also be following what others say.

Eriya
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Location: Lancaster, England

Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Eriya » Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:21 pm

I'm in a similar position - wanting to be happy about getting a place on the doctorate, but feeling utterly stressed and sad about having to move. I'm not in a relationship, so don't have to worry about that, but there are other factors in play, such as my friendships and family. As I will be moving with my 2 cats (and no humans) I won't be able to visit my friends and family at all, unless I find someone who will be willing to look after my cats. I also don't drive, which just complicates things, as trains are expensive!! And I can totally relate to that guilty feeling - how can I not be 100% happy about being given the opportunity to do the doctorate??

Bronwen1991
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Bronwen1991 » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:26 am

Eriya

A big change is never 100% positive. There is always sacrifice and we shouldn't have to feel guilty for the negatives.

We will work it out. I have recently connected with other trainee's to be at Plymouth, and this has made me feel so much better as I know they are feeling it too.

If you were in Devon I would have happily cat sat for you. I also have too cats! However previously when I have gone away and no one has been there to care for them I have used a reputable cattery and my two were absolutely fine!

Best wishes,

Bronwen

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miriam
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by miriam » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:28 pm

You might well find a cat-friendly peer on training, or someone who has a pet that means you can form a reciprocal arrangement. But there are paid services to come in and feed/play with/walk animals in most towns too. So I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

Edgemo
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Edgemo » Sun Apr 07, 2019 10:47 pm

So I have been offered a place at Exeter, also have an interview for Trent coming up. Bottom line though is I'm definitely going somewhere.

However, I currently live in Norfolk. I have a wife, 2 children and a mortgage. I'm incredibly excited but nothing seems real yet. We have a lot of options but it's clearly going to be difficult to get everything done and ready by September. I am also experiencing some guilt as I know in an ideal world my wife would want to stay in norfolk. One thing I've learnt over the last few years though is that anything is possible.

rhapsodyinred
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Location: Scotland

Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by rhapsodyinred » Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:29 am

Just popping in to suggest that in the meantime while you think about whether moving makes sense or not, it could be worth looking into hospital accommodation (eg. What is often available to junior doctors, but may also be available for trainees in other professions). One of the people in my cohort stays in hospital accommodation M-W, then drives or takes the train home on Thursday night.
I also have other people in my cohort who stay with each other during the week - one of the people who lives in Glasgow is staying with someone in Edinburgh for three nights a week, and I might start doing the same soon with someone who lives closer to my placement as well to avoid a 2h each way commute. A lot of people got an Airbnb together when we met for teaching as well.
Good luck!

HWoody
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by HWoody » Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:53 pm

What's the average distance people commute to their DClinPsych course? I live very near a university which offers the course so would be my dream to get a place there. But several people have mentioned another university that is probably more likely to offer me a place (non-typical background, older). Is easily two hours away in rush hour, prob an hour away outside rush hour. I can't relocate or stay overnight as am a parent. Is it silly to consider? Do placements offer any flexibility in working hours eg an early start to avoid rush hour?

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miriam
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by miriam » Mon Apr 22, 2019 2:26 am

I don't think that commuting over an hour is sustainable for more than six months, personally. There might be some flexibility in placements, but I'm not sure it would be enough to make a 2-hour commute work for 3 years!
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

Randomswirls
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by Randomswirls » Tue Apr 23, 2019 3:34 pm

I would say where are the placements located? As some universities have massive placement areas like Bangor whilst others share placement areas eg the north London courses and Lancaster, Liverpool and Manchester.

You may find that placement wise you have a much shorter commute and you just to have to navigate uni days which may not be to horrific.

I would say that those who do lots of commuting on my course find it very tough and so I’d look at it carefully before making any firm decisions.

That said

HWoody
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by HWoody » Thu Apr 25, 2019 4:48 pm

Thanks Miriam and Randomswirls for your replies.

Yes my initial reaction was that some of these other universities further afield are too far, but I suppose that is then traded off with actually getting on to a course at all.

I'm near enough to apply to, say the IOPPN, but it is so competitive that it feels like a wasted application.

But I'm also aware that doing this with kids is going to be very tough without adding a monster commute on top of it as well. I guess I will just have to see.

Thanks again.

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workingmama
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by workingmama » Fri Apr 26, 2019 7:48 am

Hello there,

Workingspouse and I trained in different locations 2.5 hours drive apart. I lived 30 mins from 'my' university with two of our children, workingspouse took a weekday flat near their placement. It was jolly hard, especially when my placements were an hour's drive away (doing childcare solo through most of the week), but we did manage it. I had a mat leave during year 3 also (just to ramp up the difficulty factor :D ). Some supervisors (most) were just about accommodating enough to manage, but most were 'only just' accommodating enough, rather than making it feel manageable. I definitely had days where I cried the length of the commute home with panic and worry that I wouldn't get back in time for childcare to close (having left my smallest child there from 7.55-6). I had (many) days where supper was toasted tea cakes and boiled eggs. I had to lay out the breakfast things (literally down to the last spoon) at bedtime because there wasn't enough time in the morning. On a few days I used paper plates and disposable cutlery (sorry planet) because a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do :roll:. During the first few weeks I felt like I'd fallen off the edge of my own personal world - no partner living at home, solo parenting in a new city with no friends and no free time to make friends, couldn't socialize with my cohort and watched them all make good friendships, watched my children crying with anxiety at new schools and a missing parent. It was truly gruesome. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. We're out the other end, we're settled with friends, we have jobs that we love, we feel secure and happy with our lives.

It's all possible, it's just stressful and exhausting. We don't live near any family, and we both moved to areas where we had no friends (so relocated two children out of their schools and friends) and knew no-one (or the areas we were moving to). Totally do-able, just extremely challenging. Good luck XXXX
Fail, fail again, fail better.

HWoody
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by HWoody » Fri Apr 26, 2019 12:26 pm

Hi workingmama

Thanks for your reply, wow you inspire me!

I think I need to look more closely where the placements are in each training course and rule out any which are even further away from the university, I guess.

It's impressive that you relocated and made it work, I wish that was an option for me but my husband's job is not move able and is basically funding my move to give up a decently paid job to change career, so relocating isn't an option unfortunately.

Hopefully I can make it work when the time comes to apply! I just have to hope that my nearest training course by a miracle eventually offers me a place. Thanks for your advice :-)

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miriam
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Re: Moving to do DClinPsy

Post by miriam » Sun May 05, 2019 12:27 am

workingmama wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 7:48 am
Hello there,

Workingspouse and I trained in different locations 2.5 hours drive apart. I lived 30 mins from 'my' university with two of our children, workingspouse took a weekday flat near their placement. It was jolly hard, especially when my placements were an hour's drive away (doing childcare solo through most of the week), but we did manage it. I had a mat leave during year 3 also (just to ramp up the difficulty factor :D ). Some supervisors (most) were just about accommodating enough to manage, but most were 'only just' accommodating enough, rather than making it feel manageable. I definitely had days where I cried the length of the commute home with panic and worry that I wouldn't get back in time for childcare to close (having left my smallest child there from 7.55-6). I had (many) days where supper was toasted tea cakes and boiled eggs. I had to lay out the breakfast things (literally down to the last spoon) at bedtime because there wasn't enough time in the morning. On a few days I used paper plates and disposable cutlery (sorry planet) because a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do :roll:. During the first few weeks I felt like I'd fallen off the edge of my own personal world - no partner living at home, solo parenting in a new city with no friends and no free time to make friends, couldn't socialize with my cohort and watched them all make good friendships, watched my children crying with anxiety at new schools and a missing parent. It was truly gruesome. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. We're out the other end, we're settled with friends, we have jobs that we love, we feel secure and happy with our lives.

It's all possible, it's just stressful and exhausting. We don't live near any family, and we both moved to areas where we had no friends (so relocated two children out of their schools and friends) and knew no-one (or the areas we were moving to). Totally do-able, just extremely challenging. Good luck XXXX
I'm sorry (and a bit cross) to hear you had to go through this. As a fellow working parent I just wanted to acknowledge how awful this sounds, and say as a profession we shouldn't require this of people. Surely courses should be able to have some flexibility and talk to each other enough to provide at least some placements in a location that makes some work-life balance viable.
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

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